Today while at work I came to an interesting revelation. It involves 2 thoughts, melded into one conclusion. Before I tell you what it was that occurred to me I have to tell you what I was doing. I was writing a note. To a stranger. You see, as a part of our study, my life group is making care packages for local homeless people in the community and we all added a note. I’m learning my way through this “Christian” thing. I am learning to read scripture, learning to follow His word. So far, it’s all been pretty incredible. The message of our church is “spreading God’s love in a practical way”. And that’s something I can really stand behind. I couldn’t love the idea more.
In a related thought I saw a shirt on Pinterest that said, ” Who let me adult? I can’t adult!” At the time I thought it was funny, I subscribe to this saying pretty frequently because being an adult is a learning process. You don’t just wake up one day and say to yourself, “This must be it. I’m a grown up now. Better go get a mortgage and a credit card.” The process of becoming an adult is an internal process. The rate at which it happens is entirely based around the individual and their life experiences. Although it sure seems like I just woke up this way, one day. (Insert quintessential “I woke up like dis” gesture). Every single day I have to learn a new part of being an adult. Whether it’s learning about the process of buying a home or learning to be knocked on my butt and get back up or even learning how to send a fax (like when I first started this position) I learn. Everyday.
Where these two thoughts meet in the middle. I was sitting at my desk, writing my letter to the person I have never met and probably never will when it occurred to me. You have to learn to be an adult, like you have to learn to be a Christian. You can’t just wake up one day and suddenly repent all and every sin you’ve have made and just “poof” magically be a perfect Christian. It doesn’t work that way and the ones who are selling you that malarkey are lying. It’s a daily struggle to overcome your old ways. To teach yourself to read the bible and look at what He has said to us. To do things for His recognition, not your own. This thought comforted me. As I prepare to go to bible group tonight and do what feels like an arts and craft project of assembling care packages and talking about how Sunday’s service applied to my life this week feels like I’m in Oprah’s book club, it’s a good thing to be wrapped up in.
I know that it’s a work in progress. I also know that I am doing the best I can in teaching myself to first seek Him when I’m nervous, scared or unsure. I stumble through the bible and all of the names that are in order with their relationships to other biblical characters but it’s ok, I’m not going to school for it, I am merely adapting my life to live the way I should live. I keep having to remind myself not to beat myself up over the small things. Strive to be a good person. Every single day is a learning process in every sense of the word.