Live Like Arrow

What if people were more like our dogs? Not an original question, I know. This question has been tackled on the big screen, in books and most likely by every single dog lover out there. But this week has been particularly applicable to this thought for me, so I’m going to go ahead and write it out. Those of you who find this topic redundant, unoriginal or tired I will give you a free pass to skip this blog…. Come to think of it, go. Click the back button until you find something that interests you. Life is too short to read boring material (learned that in undergrad) and I don’t want you to read my thoughts if you don’t think they offer at least ONE new fresh perspective.

For those of you that I didn’t chase away, let me paint you a picture. I’m sitting here at my desk at work with my pooch peacefully asleep next to my chair on his salvation army tie blanket. He couldn’t be happier. It’s been a slow day at work, so I’ve had time to do what new moms (of humans and fur babies) do best. I’ve watched him sleep, rubbed his belly, and kissed him as I’ve gotten up. Each time he opens his eyes, rolls over and stretches, contented in knowing that no one here will ever bring harm to him, only treats, kisses and belly rubs. Everyone at work pets him as they walk by and comments how he’s so calm for a 15 week old little not so little guy. I find peace in touching his head, hearing him whimper in his dreams and just generally knowing that he’s at peace.

This week has been particularly turbulent in my household. I wont go into unnecessary details, just know there is a very large wedge driven between myself and my mother (also my landlord). You see the complication already and you don’t even know the conflict. The first issue is that my ex step-dad’s Pomeranian is staying at the house while he is out of town on business. This dog is an adult of 5 or 6 years of age. He’s ill-mannered. He’s obnoxious. He’s fat… for a Pomeranian. He used to live in the house, complicating things because he thinks he owns this house now too.  Arrow is just a pup. He wants nothing more than to play with this new little fluff ball that has been brought home. The cat lets Arrow chase her around, why wont the Pomeranian (Max) let Arrow chase him around?  Each time Arrow even comes close to throwing a playful paw and a hop in his direction Max makes the most foul noise I’ve ever heard. That’s it. I don’t have patience for a little jerky cotton ball that thinks he owns the place and I CERTAINLY don’t have patience for the humans that condone that behavior. But, Arrow knows Max isn’t friendly, isn’t playful and he’s starting to just ignore him. That doesn’t prevent Max from growling and acting like an idiot every time their paths cross… but that’s an issue he will never grow out of. His window of socialization has passed. Excellent job on that one, guys. I’m working hard to prevent that… BIG TIME.

So I currently have tension at home because of the push-me-pull-me of the pup hierarchy. Next on the agenda is the issue between me and said landlord. Because of the Extreme Introversion I mentioned a few posts back I dread wedding/baby showers. They’re not my thing. Any large gathering of people, really. Well this week (2nd week in a row) I have another wedding shower. This one happens to be for a woman marrying into my family. I’m not a particular fan of her, but I’m not much of a people person. Those two pieces of the puzzle combined make for a tragic afternoon for someone like me. Well, my mother voiced only part two of my puzzle to the family it directly affects, not part one. You can imagine the rifts that this has caused for me. So now, my family thinks this is a selfish reason to drag my feet kicking and screaming (theoretically of course) to this shower. A hated tradition by MOST women in the first place. I am now left to deal with the smoke that has been caused by my mother’s mouth, voicing things that aren’t her concern or business. I am 26. I have a God-given voice. I had chosen not to use it because I’m private about my social anxiety and I would have gotten endless grief about it from my family. Not worth it. The anxiety this has caused me in the last 3 days is ridiculous, really. I realize that. Mixed with that stupid accident of a pooch at home, things are… rough,

When thinking about how to describe this whole feud to my father (who lives out of state… did I mention that?) I am left wondering how dogs would behave. I don’t think dogs get involved in other dog’s business. If the husky next door see’s his companion dog sniffing the neighbor’s golden retriever I don’t think the husky will then make up lies or omit information or even be the least bit concerned about the neighbor dog. Why can’t we be that way? Why can’t we just live our lives like our dogs? I think generally they live a happier existence with a better outlook on people. They go with their gut feelings about if someone is good or bad. If another dog doesn’t like them, they just walk away. They carry on about their business. They live for the moment and they love for the person the other is. Arrow’s father has seen me a MESS. He’s seen me cry, freak out, be in dingy clothes, etc. And he never cared. He never told me secrets or judged me for them. Arrow doesn’t either. What matters to him is his afternoon belly rub and his morning game of fetch, through the office. At this point, how do we start living that way? How do we transition? We’ve been so trained to live a stress riddled existence that there is no cutting the cord.

Today, my goal is to spend as much time with my animals as I can to find myself again without the toxins of the everyday drama that has currently consumed my everyday. I will go riding with my horse. I will come home and take Arrow on a nice long walk and at the end of the day I will take off this tattered and worn Totally Turquoise nail polish to prepare for my soft and glistening baby doll pink that I have lined up for my nephew’s baptism on Sunday. I will think no more about the emotional garbage others try to throw in my figurative backyard. I will calmly shut my door. That’s what they’re there for. Tomorrow I will try to live like Arrow. For the moment, for the second. And totally and completely in love with everything.

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